Helga's Stash
by E.E.S
Summary: Ever wonder where Helga gets her unuiqe vocabulary? While cleaning her little sister's room, Olga stumbles upon the asnwer. Rated T to be safe. RR please.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own hey Arnold

A/N' just an idea that poped into my head one day.

**Helga's stash**

It was an average summer day in D.C., balmy and humid. Much too hot for any person to bear, so Helga Pataki sat in her room in front of the air conditioner, a small, almost pocket sized, book in her lap. Due to the concentrated look on her face and statuesque posture, anyone who may have witnessed this would think she'd be studying for an important test or reading about Medieval methods of Torture.

But this was no textbook, nay, not even a book describing the ways of the Medieval period. This book was titled " The Sapphire Swallow" The back read as follows; The year is 1870, Mississippi. And Jezebel Leboutoux is desperately trying to cover up a family secret that won't die, when a handsome stranger comes to her doorstep, badly injured, she can't help but take pity and care for him. When a spark ignites between them, will Jezebel's secret be discovered by her smoldery eyed lover, or will _his _secret unravel their _passion_?

Helga opened the book greedily after reading the summary, but just as she was turning past the title page there was a knock on her door. "Helga, baby sister, I am cleaning the house today, Mother and Father are at the opera."

Helga grabbed a sweater from her bed and wrapped the book in it, "Fine, whatever. Just stay outta my closest!" She replied sulkily while shoving the sweater under her blanket.

Helga went downstairs and went outside to do what she does every day, stalk Arnold.

After Olga had finished ironing and pressing all of Helga's clothes, she turned to Helga's bed, to make it of course. She picked up the blanket and shook it out before folding it and setting it on Helga's chair. She picked up the pillow and grabbed the sweater in one hand, as she lifted the sweater the book dropped to the floor. Olga bent down to pick up the red, white and gold titled book and noticed the dramatic and somewhat lurid illustration of two blondes adorning the cover.

A tall man in a union solider uniform was dramatically holding a limp blonde woman, her blouse

Was halfway unbuttoned, the man and woman were on a horse, on a cliff, over looking a plantation.

Olga dropped the book immediately, 'What should I do, maybe I could put it back in the sweater. But, no, Helga is much too young to be reading this! It's not even anatomically correct, she won't learn anything from it!" she said. She felt the soft pages and the ragged, almost fluffy white edges where the paper frayed and took a look at the excerpt on the inside cover, " _Captain Arnold of the union Army, was a long way from home but as he held Jezebel firmly she could forget he was a filthy Yankee and lose herself in his bloodied arms…"_

Olga shut the book, "I can't believe this! My baby sister -" Olga stopped mid sentence as she remembered what Helga told her 'Stay outta my closest!' , could it be that's where she hid her stash?

Olga couldn't take that chance, she had to protect her baby sister's innocence. She threw down the book, as well as the sweater she now had tucked under her arm, and marched toward Helga's closest.

She gently opened the door and peeked inside, nothing unusual, except the voodoo doll. Or at least what she thought was a Voodoo doll, and what seemed to be a shrine made of expired food products. Olga grabbed some of the books from the towering stacks and sat down on Helga's bed.

Olga slammed the book shut as words rushed through her mind like some sort of twisted 80's horror movie. "Girlhood… tremble, sultry, breast!" Olga clutched her head after throwing the books haphazardly back into the closet.

"It appears." She said standing up and puffing out her chest as she gathered her cleaning items "That this is much more serious than I thought!"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer# I do not own hey Arnold.

Author's note# I cant believe it! I got good reviews on my first fanfic, anyways on to the review shout outs!

**Acosta perez Jose ramiro- **thank you for my first review for my first fanfiction.

**AnimatedBritney- **yeah that actually that's where the idea for this fic came from and I hope that I live up to your exceptions.

**xBakura's Lovex-** here's the update.

Now on with the story

**Helga's stash chapter 2 **

While Olga was at home hatching a plan, Helga was at the park. She had been looking for Arnold but couldn't find him so she was taking a break and decided sit on a bench eat a snow cone. She was looking at the sky, not at all enjoying the lack of clouds, when she heard something on the other side of the wilting rhododendrons.

"I'm sorry Arnold, but I am ever so certain that I told you this wasn't a date, I'm just here to study with you. I simply cannot accept those flowers." Said a voice apologetically.

Helga peeked through the bushes, her heart had skipped a beat at the mention of Arnold's name, and sure enough, Arnold and Lila were sitting at a picnic bench with their schoolbooks spread over the splintering tabletop.

Arnold looked crushed, Lila gave him a sad smile and gathered her books before standing up and leaving.

Helga was absolutely furious, who did that goody two shoes think she was? Any girl would _**kill**_ to be with Arnold! Helga had three quarters of a mind to go over there and clobber Lila senseless, while she was frothing up a rage only a preteen was capable of she dropped her snow cone.

Arnold could hear a low growling sound, then a 'splunch!' He turned around and could see Helga, staring murderously through the branches of the bush. ' I guess she's pretty upset.' Arnold thought for a moment before walking around the foliage to meet Helga.

Helga whirled around and put a sour look on her face, "What do you want football head!"

Arnold held out the small bouquet of daisies, poppies and baby's breath. "Here, I thought you could, uh, use these or something," Arnold looked a bit confused as to why he was giving them to her.

For a fraction of a second, Helga's face was glowing with Joy, but that was quickly changed to a scowl. She snatched the flowers and took a whiff of them before waving them violently in front his face "I've experienced more pleasant odors from a litter box! No wonder that farm girl Lila hated them!" Helga threw the flowers down into a wire wastebasket and stomped off.

Arnold stood still for a minute, "How did she know that they where for Lila?" Arnold mumbled to himself while walking away, quite confused. And When Arnold was out of sight, Helga peeked from behind the bathrooms to see if the coast was clear to snatch those beautiful, fragrant gifts from her beloved, some day to be lover. However, it wasn't. Harold, Sid and Stinky were catching toads in a small pond about forty feet from the brick building that housed the lavatories that Helga found to be so secure. Now, Harold, Sid and Stinky usually spent all afternoon at said pond because the city noise often frightened the frogs.

Understandably, when the trio finally left with a measly tadpole in tow Helga sat up and stretched her legs.

The sun was going to set soon so Helga dashed, as fast as her cramped limbs would allow, to the trash can and grabbed the rather smelly flowers. She gently picked the pieces of an Anchovy pizza slice off of the petals, cradling the wilted bundle until she walked into her front door.

Helga had become a bit dis shelved, sitting on the ground in the hot sun, dodging behind doors whenever a familiar face would come to the only building in that spacious park that held toilets.

When Helga opened the door, Olga was standing there with, for the fist time in Helga's life, with her arms crossed.

Olga tried to appear pleasant and smiled at Helga, "Helga, lets go upstairs and watch a movie. Doesn't that sound fun? You can pick which one."

Helga raised one side of her massive eye brow, she knew Olga was up to something but she was too tired to argue. "Fine, lets watch," Helga thought for a moment, "Guns and Broads."

Olga made a sour face before sighing, "…Fine, lets go."

'I should tell mom and dad, when they finally get here.' It was hard for Olga not to bite her nails, she had spent most of the afternoon thinking of how to approach this situation and she still hadn't completely figured it out yet.

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RR - Sorry, I couldn't make the chapter longer because my scribe/beta has drawing cramps in her arm.


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